This is a work of fiction and non-fiction.
We write because we are inspired. By love, daft notions of hate, friendships (superfluous or otherwise), and loneliness. It is probably a combination of these factors that has led me to the creation of this cemetery of words, forever eternal and etched online.
Writing has never quite been my forte, although I've taken great solace in putting my thoughts on paper when necessary. Without a therapist, or more importantly, a dedicated group of individuals that can hear me complain on a regular basis, I've decided to digitize my thoughts. Perhaps as a way to get to know myself better, or at least be able to understand my thought process that has helped get me in the position I am today. Which happens to be rather ___-ed out, fluctuating between moments of ear-to-ear grins and saccharine (or heart-tugging, depends on your perspective) tears.
I've found my life thus far has been defined by such dichotomies. Fleeting moments of content, borderline joy, and valleys of sorrow, otherwise known as depression. Dysthymia, as one paid professional knowingly categorized my emotions, nodding as they thought and rethought their sensible diagnosis. It's certainly added a lens to help understand my life since I was a teenager. I don't know if I entirely agree with this said paid professional, although my friends, family, and past lovers may say otherwise.
To continue to play on that note, I've always imagined people's personalities as a deck of cards in a game of Go Fish (we all loved it growing up, don't lie). Cards are dealt and everyone gets to see a different card, or facet, of yourself: we have friends that we strictly love to get drunk with and howl at the moon, others that exist almost strictly to console us in times of dire need, while others still exist just to stick around so you can keep some continuity in your life. But even amongst my closest friends, I have hidden so many sides of myself that sometimes, I am unsure which personality to present to them. Perhaps its due to the time period in my life, where my companions are beginning to settle down with their first true love, thinking this will be the end-all, be-all. They have sought refuge in their significant others, while I had always sought refuge and guidance in them. Their relationship, and my cynicism, has created a rift that grows more discernible with each encounter. Alas, I am getting into the weeds.
This blog is an ongoing play by play for me to help understand the various sides of my personality that I continue to explore; the layers that I expose to people and irrationally decide to share my anarchic thoughts. I've set an appropriate framework for this site, an MOU, or in the very least, a baseline from which you can understand my chaotic thought process. Or so I hope.
Welcome to Go Jold.
